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  • Writer's picturePastor DJ Harry

Swimming Upstream: 7 Proven Techniques To Fight Secular Culture in Your Home!


Swept Away!


Several years ago we visited a theme park in Tennessee.  It was a busy weekend and there were people everywhere!  At the time our kids were quite young and had to be watched very carefully; we had to hold hands, keep track of strollers, and make sure no one wandered off!  You know…the normal stuff you do with young kids.

I distinctly remember walking down the central park corridor and being overwhelmed with people, and they were all walking towards us!  …we were obviously going the wrong direction.  We held on tightly to our kids as we began working our way up the sidewalk.  My wife and I were fighting just to hang on.  I felt that at any time, if I had let go, my kids would have been swept away in a mass of humanity!

In a sense, we were fighting secular culture!

If you are a Christian parent today, you probably feel like the whole world is headed one way and you and your family are headed another…and you are holding on to you kids for dear life!  Christ actually described this clearly in Matthew 7: “…wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction…straight is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth to life.”

It is worth it!

If you are trying to swim upstream with your family but the secular culture keeps pushing harder and harder against you, the solution isn’t to stop swimming!!  I remember years ago hearing that ‘anything worth winning is worth fighting for!’  Guiding your family through the treacherous waters of a secular culture must be a primary focus of a Christian household.  Why?  Because winning the culture war for your family is a goal worth fighting for!



Is this a battle you want to win?  Are you willing to engage in the struggle?  Let me help you by offering a resource full of practical tips on “Winning the Culture War in Your Home.”  This book will be out in late spring and I will be giving free copies to those on my email list!  Register below to receive your free copy.



Here are the seven steps to keep your family heading upstream as you resist a secular worldview.

1. Be ready to fight

No, not in a literal sense.  But you have to recognize that you are in a spiritual struggle that will require dedication, devotion, discipline…and determination!!!  Are you going to leave the battles up to your children?  Are you going to push them onto the battlefield and hope that they can withstand the fiery darts of the wicked one?  Parents…Dads!  You must take up arms to defend your children against a surging secular worldview!

2. Teach discernment

Discernment is the ability to see a choice and recognize the different consequences from that choice.  Discernment is the foresight to look

beyond the wants and desires of today and to see how they will affect you in the future.  Parents, you must teach this to your children start them young!  When you sit down at the dinner table and your kids ask you for advice, don’t just give it….walk your children down the path of discernment!

3. Be an example of steadfast faith

Your children need heroes that consistently act out their faith in day to day life.  Don’t expect them to find their heroes elsewhere.  What is wrong with you determining that you will live in a way so that your kids will look up to your steadfast living!  Don’t expect some other dad to be the example, you be the example!

4. Take an active role in outside influences

If you are going to win the culture war in your home you will need to take an

active role in monitoring who and what has the influence on your children.  How do I do it?  One way was that our kids phones used my apple id for texting, apps, and Facebook.  We also had an ‘open phone policy’ where part of the ‘deal’ with having a phone that I pay for is that I can have instant access whenever I ask.  Have I asked before?  Absolutely!!  In the end, my kids trust that I won’t ‘invade’ their privacy for no reason but they understand that there are times that I must do my job as a parent and help guide them!

5. Train your children

I think we avoid this step because it makes us feel awkward.  Sitting down with your child and walking them through a situation at school takes time and patience.  Training them to see the consequences of choices, though, is critical to their surviving in a secular culture.  If you don’t train them, when they leave home they will be washed away by the current of a godless worldview.

6. Deep Roots


When Hurricane Hugo hit Charleston in 1989 it was obvious which trees had deep roots.  That category 4 hurricane left very few houses untouched and the damage was almost unimaginable.  As the 140 mph winds ripped across the terrain, trees with shallow roots were upturned and found on their side.  They had no depth to withstand the torrential storm.

Parents, drive your kids deep!  Don’t be content with popular-but-shallow children.  This world will rip them up and blow them away with the hurricane force winds of secular culture.  Sure, playing four sports is fun and playing on travel ball is exciting.  Are you making their spiritual foundations a priority?  Drive them deep into God’s Word!

7. Don’t build a bigger bubble

I saved the best for last!  Resist at all cost the knee-jerk reaction to just build a bigger bubble around your children.  It just doesn’t work!!



Imagine a child who is kept isolated from all disease, bacteria, and viruses for the first 18 years of their life.  They never fight off a cold and never even have the sniffles.  Can you say “underdeveloped immune system?”  Then, as that child turns 18, you unzip their bubble and send them off to college, work, marriage…you have protected him so much that now the least little infection could be overwhelming and possibly life threatening!

Parents, your children live in a secular world that is changing faster than we ever could have imagined 15 years ago!  This ever changing culture presents challenges and temptations that your child needs to be prepared to face. …and this won’t happen if you don’t train them proper discernment along the way!

Remember that free book?  Register in the email box below to receive your free copy when it is published!

DJHarry            Isaiah 64:8            We are the clay!

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